For some reason unbeknownst even to myself, I joined a couple of those hideous online dating sites a few weeks ago. I had always sneered and hooted at these sites and made fun of any friends who were on them. "All anyone is interested in, is getting laid!" I told my friend Leila*, who is a die-hard romantic and so wants to find that True Love--yet systematically barks up wrong and crazy trees more often than not with men she meets. She often reminds me of the character of Charlotte in Sex in the City, when she laments in one episode, "I've been dating since I was 15; I'm exhausted. Where is he???"
I suppose my only excuse for having tried these sites is that I've come to a dry well in my social circles with people I meet and/or know. Most people who know me well, know that I'm a very open-minded person and have dated--and had a few serious relationships with--both men and women. I dislike labels, and tell people it is simply about the person and the chemistry for me rather than the gender.
I purposely chose to join two different dating sites; one for checking out prospective male dates; the other for female dates. I am not typically a compartmentalizer--I have a specific reason for doing this: I see no point in letting someone know right away that I am open to dating both genders, particularly in the case of men. Even the most boy-crazy girl knows that most men, in some way, shape or form--are pigs. The few that I did discuss it with, responded with the typical comments: "Gawd, marry me!" "Really? That's hot, tell me more." "Well, I have this cute girl I'd like you to meet..." all leading up to, of course, the inevitable request for a threesome. Needless to say, I blocked all those users from contacting me again. They say "honesty is the best policy"--well, look where THAT got me.
I have enclosed several male comments sent to me, for the sheer purpose of entertainment.
"Dearest, You are in luck as I played 1st base in high school and know my way around this all important first step in scoring. Write me back if you want some fun."
"YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU ARE VERY RUSTY,BUT I WOULD LIKE TO RUB OIL ON YOU TO TAKE OUT THE KINKS IF THERE ARE ANY. FORGET THE OIL JUST LETS GO AND HAVE FUN DOING WHAT EVER YOU ENJOY DOING."
"Hi, your green eyes made me melt. Let's stop the world and I'll melt with you." (Okay dipshit, this one's not even original! It's a song from Modern English.)
"I hope you know CPR 'cause you're breathtaking!"
Ugh. Really??? These are all men in their late 40's or older. Couldn't they all come up with something better than that? The second comment--the one in caps--was in response to what I'd posted in my profile. I'd stated I was "rusty" in the dating scene and had been single for nearly 2 years. I'd also stated in the last paragraph-- advised by a friend to hopefully scare off some would-be one-night-stand seeking men-- that "I had no money and didn't have sex right away--first base only." Goes to show you how most of them probably don't even READ my profile.
One person stated he "liked to dress up occasionally in women's underwear and was that an issue for me?" I told him he was not getting his hands on any of my expensive lingerie and to buy his own! Then I blocked him. Another confided that he liked three-somes with a girl and another guy, then asked if he could send some "revealing" photos to me. BLOCKED!
I am more convinced than ever that except for a few gems out there, these dating sites are for men to try and find hook ups--no matter what I state in my profile and no matter what THEY say they are looking for. I could probably write that I like to eat bugs, never shave my legs or armpits, and only brush my teeth for special occasions--and I'd likely still get the same responses as long as I have photos posted.
And the few gems that might be lurking about? I don't have the patience to dig through the rubble of creeps to find them. I plan to return to the standard way of meeting people...through friends and other groups and let the rest go. "Tout ce qui sera sera (Whatever will be, will be)."
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